"Until Death Do Us Part" Making a Good Marriage

“A portion of your soul has been entwined with mine. A gentle kind of togetherness, while separate we stand. As two trees deeply rooted in separate plots of ground, while their topmost branches come together, forming a miracle of lace against the heavens.” Janet Miles

Today, I’m going to discuss the topic of Marriage. *Sees people run in fear* Don’t be afraid. I’ve seen some fantastic couples who are married and I think they get the idea of what it means. It’s not as scary as you think, but it’s beautiful. Look at the people you think have a good stable marriage and ask them “How do you two work so well?”

First, what is the definition of a marriage?

a (1) : the state of being united to a person of the opposite sex as husband or wife in a consensual and contractual relationship recognized by law (2) : the state of being united to a person of the same sex in a relationship like that of a traditional marriage <same-sex marriage> b : the mutual relation of married persons : wedlock c : the institution whereby individuals are joined in a marriage

2

: an act of marrying or the rite by which the married status is effected; especially : the wedding ceremony and attendant festivities or formalities

3

: an intimate or close union <the marriage of painting and poetry — J. T. Shawcross>

This is where the Deffinition came from.

Now, let’s look at some stats
Stats

This Stats chart shows that the wealthier families are more apt to get married.  I think this is because the process of a wedding is so expensive. Wealthier families take pride in having big, glorious weddings for their families to enjoy and share together. Families with less money tend to take pride in simply being able to enjoy life to the best of their abilities. Personally, I think marriage is more than the ceremony but the act of sex and the understanding from both families that these people want to marry under the eye of God, with or without a paper that says they are. No one needs a paper to say that they love someone “until death do us part”

Between 1960 and 2009 the number of marriages decreased by 10%

I think this may be because there are more people who feel marriage is not necessary to show their love to someone.

Stats show that if you have a good income, graduated college, have not had a child previous to marriage, you’re over 25, your parents are together, and you’re religious in some way, then your chance of a good marriage is high.

 Income: a good income means you can support a family as well as yourself. If you are unable to support yourself then you are not able to support a marriage. A person who is independent and educated will be more able to take care of themselves and their spouse as well as a family.

“The more you invest in a marriage, the more valuable it becomes.” Amy Grant

Education: a better education means you’re going to be more mature and you will be able to think more logically. A good education supplies a person not only with job skills but also relationship skills.

Baby baggage: having a child before marriage can be hard for couples. Taking care of the infant causes stress and makes education hard to handle as well as getting a job. The stress causes a lot of couples to break apart because they are not mature enough to handle the situation. Mature couples have waited to get to know each other and because they know each other better (their likes, dislikes, stressors, relaxers, frustrations, etc.) then their spouse will be more able to take care of the child as well as their husband/wife.

Age: younger people(under the age of 25) who get married often get divorced. I think this is because they have not gotten the chance to mature and become independent. Older couples who get married know about their partners boundaries and how not to cross them and, if they are crossed, they know how to heal them. Older couples act more like adults and less like children.

“The bonds of matrimony are like any other bonds - they mature slowly.” Peter De Vries

Parents: the first people to influence you. If the parents are divorced then later on when the child marries, he/she will see it as more acceptable to get a divorce instead of being committed to their partner and staying in the relationship “until death do us part”

“In marriage, each partner is to be an encourager rather than a critic, a forgiver rather than a collector of hurts, an enabler rather than a reformer.” H. Norman Wright and Gary J. Oliver

Religion: knowing how to love God and knowing how He loves you. If someone accepts God’s Love then they will be more able to accept someone else’s love and build that relationship while giving their love back to that person. God is the super glue for many marriages, while other factors help hold a marriage together.

Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband. Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband; and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.
--I Corinthians 7:2-4

And some more stats:

In 1960 there were .42 million people living together unmarried

In 2009 there were 6.61 million people living together unmarried

It’s become more acceptable to live with someone unmarried and “begin a life” with them.

Personally, I think marriage is one of the more important bonding experiences for a couple. They have to plan together, pay together, see both families together, share the experience together, etc. The wedding experience alone provide all this in one day, which helps a couple prepare for the future they are about to have together.

Living together before Marriage:

Although it is a good way to get to know each other better before marriage, it also allows for temptation. Personally, I think people should wait to have sex until they are married. This way is guaranteed that the couple is STD free, the chances of pregnancy are 0, and they can build their self control and sustain from sex and will be less likely to have an affair because they see sex as a holy binding between themselves and their spouse.

I think marriage (as in the certificate, ceremony, etc.) is not necessary for a serious couple who have been together for more than 3 or 4 years. If they want to get married, but do not have the money for all the wedding things and certificate and license, then they should announce that they are engaged (engaged does not mean they have a ring, a ring is not needed) and make it public that they will get married. The couple can “marry” in their house and constellate the marriage (I highly suggest writing your own vows, if you plan on this; and making the vows to each other). Later, when you save enough money, you can have a real wedding.

More Marriage Quotes